We are sitting in James Ihas disturbingly clean room at New York Citys Four Seasons hotel. Chris Collingwood is the lead singer for Scratchie recording artists Fountains of Wayne. Besides being the other half of this duo, Schlesinger is also one-third of another band, Ivy, and one-sixth of the Scratchie Records boardroom. Since Ivy is on Atlantic, Fountains of Wayne doesnt get to be part of Scratchies deal with Mercury. "Im not sure of all the semantics of it," Iha says, "but its easier that hes with Atlantic.

Iha has written out several pages of questions for his boys, which they answer with the same relaxed, cheerful, slightly sarcastic attitude that fills there insanely catchy songs. DArcy stops by later, loaded down with bags from Barnerys: shes been picking out clothes for tomorrow afternoons cover shoot.

James: The lead track and feel-good song of the alternative fall 96 is "Radiation Vibe." What are you proposing here?

Chris: God, why do people keep asking us this question? I think its pretty obvious. Its about this guy who plays pinball, but hes deaf, dumb, and blind.

James: Yeah, that sounds kind of familiar-

Adam: Were actually thinking of expanding it into a musical at some point, but it will probably just be called "Radiation!" with an exclamation point. But the songs gotta catch at first.

James: The Fountains of Wayne are great exponents of the perfect pop song, when times were simpler and music was good. Has Grease, the movie and soundtrack, influenced your work?

Adam: I think mostly "Hopeless Devoted" probably. I think we can through out the rest of the Grease work, but-

James: Is it that worth of longing, forlorn quality in the song?

Adam: Actually, somebody did tell us that a lot of our songs have this "cheer up, loser" quality. I guess maybe theres a little bit of that element.

James: The underdog element. On a more intellectual not, much like Nathaniel Hawthorne, your lyrics seem to be probing the depths of our common nature, like the coffee-and-cream girl working the dead-end job in "Sick Day." We can all relate to her loneliness, her alienation, and yet she retains her identity in an absurd and illogical society. Is this a dystopian view or an indictment of society that you hold?

Adam: (laughs) That song wasnt intended to be as depressing as it ended up being. The first verse I wrote very consciousness, and it was just a series of images about going to work and being stuck in a traffic jam and listening to bad talk radio, and I was just too lazy to finish it, basically. So I got up to the chorus and Chris took over from there and wrote the second verse.

James: And turned it into a sappy Chris song.

Adam: (laughs) As he wants to do.

James: So I guess, uh, heres my other question. Has anything weird or strange ever happened to you?

Adam: No!

(they laugh)

Chris: What kind of question is that? In fact, a story does come to mind...when I was a baby, I was laying in the grass and a plane crashed into my neighbor.

James: Not into your neighbors house or car-but into your neighbor?

Chris: well, and then her house, but into her first. My mother was doing laundry and talking to this other woman. I was out in the yard, and my mother left me in the grass while she went to get more laundry, to hang up and this plane flew right over my head-its not a really funny story-flew right over my head, chopped this woman into bits and then blew up the house, killed her husband inside.

James: Lets try to steer the interview away from death and explosion-grief.

Chris: Yeah, theres not a whole lot of that in our work.

James: Okay, tell me about some of the key instruments in the making of this fine record.

Adam: Um, for the most part of resources were sort of limited to what we had in the stupid the week we went in there. It was around Christmas, so no one was really around to borrow stuff from so we had our trusty Orgeton Keyboard which made several appearances on the record; thats a $3 organ that I bought at a flea market, which sounds great but costs $12 to keep its batteries fresh, so its a little bit of a burden. You can actually hear the batteries dying as the song goes on...its nice and strong in the first verse, then by the third verse its sort of sounding a little tired and sad.

James: Kind of wheezing away unmelodically in the background.

Adam: Definitely.

James: Hmmm, all right. Adam, in your mercurial WASP formative years, you saw .38 Special, Todd Rungren, and Ozzy Osbourne in three consecutive days. How has this shaped you as a person?

Adam: I think that my exposures to all facets of rock as a youth definitely shaped my broadminded musical horizons. My grandparents were the rock promotion kinds of Syracuse, New York and when I was like 11,12 and 13 I used to go up there in the summer and work at the box office or sell T-shirts. Id be the only 11-year-old at the Jerry Garcia Band show that night.

James: (chuckling) Jerry Garcia Band...How do you thin people react and list to Fountains of Wayne? Will they slit their wrists, barbecue and play frisbee, or drive their Aerostarts to work? How will they listen to Fountains of Wayne?

Chris: Is it a multiple choice? We have to pick one of those?

James: Either one or make up your own scenario. I picture people that listen to Steve Miller playing frisbee outside and drinking beer. Someone listening to Nine Inch Nails is probably slashing themselves.

Adam: Yeah, it would be hard to be a depressed, suicidal teenager and listen to Fountains of Wayne. Thats just not gonna work.

Chris: Sniff glue and-

Adam: Either it will cheer you up and ruin your whole image or else youll get so upset by it youll actually kill yourself, but you wont just be able to wallow in your mister and listen to our record.

Chris: Yeah, I think that people will be depressed, but only because theyre not us. (laughs)