At the KOC, local 313
There's a fat guy standing by the soda machine
And he knows he knows he knows that life can be funny
He calls the hair salon
Put Loretta on
Cause the mall just called
Said the last guy's gone
And I know I know I know we need the money
He's a big red red cherry
But it's hard to be merry
When the kids are all laughing
Saying, "Hey, it's Jerry Garcia"
Ain't he cute?
The man in the Santa suit
And all the mom's in town
Bring the brats around
Who can't sit still or keep a rootbeer down
Now it's up
Hey Look at that
It looks like a milk shake
How Jimmy's grown this year
Says, "Mommy, quick, come hear"
"Santa's sweaty and he smells like beer"
and he says, "Kid, shut your mouth"
"You give me a headache"
Well, he's jolly and hairy
But it's hard to be merry
When the guys at the bar say he looks like a fairy
But he's doing it just for the loot
The man in the Santa suit
He's a big red cherry
All jolly and merry
And everyone's laughing but he doesn't care
He stays cool
Ain't he cute?
The man in the Santa suit